Yeah, you heard me. A list is coming up.
The first decade of this millenium has been… long.
I still remember when we were getting closer to New Years Eve 1999, and everybody kept talking about how all computer systems would crash and nothing would work and we’d have no electricity (people actually got spirit stoves just in case).
After that I really don’t remember much until summer 2004, that’s when we moved to Härnösand. I still have no idea if I’d been alive if we hadn’t moved, so I’m happy we did. I got a better life here, happier, with people around me that actually, at least at some point, cared about me.
2004 was, with other words, a pretty turbulent year.
2005-2007. I started working again, I went to school, May 2006 I moved to my own apartment. A year and a half later I moved in with my boyfriend, I somewhat failed high school and I continued working.

Seriously, it hasn’t happened that much, just a HUGE change in my life. I had to learn, everything. how to talk to people, how to be social, how to act and react to what people say and do.
I like to compare it to when people tie their shoelaces. For most people it comes natural, they do it without thinking. It’s the same thing with being around people. For most it comes natural, for me it didn’t. I had to learn, and being 16 years old and trying to learn how to act around people…not that easy.


So, what did this decade bring the world?
It brought us 9/11, it brought us terror, bad economy and climate changes. It brought us 230.000 dead in a tsunami catastrophy.
Sounds pessimistic but these are probably the things most people would say.

So, a new year, a new decade. Time for change. I can’t change the world but I can change myself, so that’s where I’ll start.
These are not promises, these are what I intend to get done before we enter 2011. Shit happens and there might be changes, therefore no promises, but I will do my best.

*Be more optimistic about stuff
*Accept the way I look. I don’t have to love it, but acceptance is good
*Get more social
*Learn proper english
*Learn that eating isn’t bad, and that eating isn’t = wasting money
*Stop being so extremely jealous when there is no reason whatsoever
…

That’s what I’ve been thinking about this far. All of them are necessary in order for me to live a good and happy life. I think 2010 will give me opportunitys for happiness and I don’t intend to fuck this up. I’m worth being happy, so I will do what it takes.


4 hours and 12 minutes left.

I just took 144 pictures of myself.

Have I been drinking?
Have I been smoking?
Did someone hit me with a frying pan?
Have I gone crazy?

Nope. Well I dunno about the last one but…

Now food. Nomnomnom.

If you’re bored, I’ve got an idea. If your computer is set to save all your msn conversations, look at them. Go back as far as you can in history and read. I was bored and tired, so I did. SO FUNNY!!
I’m that kind of person who saves EVERYTHING. And I mean everything. I’ve got print screens on conversations from early 2006, it’s really nice to have them. It’s like going back in time.

Ciao!

I survived a really cold walk in the snow, went to buy bird food to feed birds now that it’s been snowing so much. Got myself a pair of gloves too, really needed that. Don’t want my fingers to get frostbitten.
And I’ve been eating. And drinking a lot. I seriously think I’ve been about to fuck my kidneys up, I’ve been in some weird kind of pain since 2 or 3 this morning, that’s more than 12 hours. Sometimes when I get dehydrated they hurt, but not for this long. But then again, I usually don’t drink lots of energy drinks with vodka either.



A picture from December 18th.

Ciao

So, Christmas is over and I survived this year too. I have to say this was one of the most depressing ones this far, but at the same time I found a way to deal with it. I don’t know, but it just doesn’t feel like it’s been Christmas at all.

Now that shit is gone, we can focus on the future. Which I really don’t know much about right now, but I know one thing. What lies ahead is good, it’s happiness, it’s love and trust and beauty.
When times are bad and shitty you just have to find something to be happy about. Sounds annoyingly (is that a word?) optimistic to be me, but next year is going to be a better and more positive year.

I’ve got dreams now. I’ve got goals. I want things. Which is unusual to be me.
Btw it’s snowing. A LOT. Maybe I’ll go outside later to take some pictures. Need to clean up today, my home really looks like shit. I haven’t really had energy enough to deal with it during Christmas so I have to do it now. I better start before I get something more interesting to do, haha!

Btw, apparently one of my relatives in Germany is reading my blog, I find that amazing. The world isn’t as big as I thought. Hallo, wie geht’s?
Ciao

Okay, so I have more or less decided to let the blog stay for now.

It’s the day before Christmas Eve. I dunno what to say about that, there’s not much to say. I will be alone, I have chosen so myself, and I will deal with it. I prefer this.
It just doesn’t feel like Christmas at all, there is nothing saying it is. I just don’t care enough, I guess.

At least I wish you all a Merry Christmas!

Blog will remain for some time. Partially because I have no idea how to delete it.
Boohya.

I just wanted all of you to know that I will delete this blog within the next couple of days. Vetauriel.se will remain, but only for my pictures. You will be able to comment the pictures, but all comments concerning me, my friends, work, family, or my private life whatsoever will be deleted immediately.

If you have any questions about this, email me. vetauriel@hotmail.com

Cya

I’m just going to get this written down so I can read it later when I think my life sucks harder than my vacuum cleaner.

I’ve had a good day. Wrong, I’ve had a great day. I was painting roof and walls in a room today, I have never got so much done in less than 4 hrs than today, and I’ve never liked it so much.
I was basically smiling and singing (sorry guys for the latter, I know I can’t sing and having a cold doesn’t make my voice any better) all day, I haven’t felt this way for a long time. A very long time. In fact I don’t remember last time I felt this happy, apart from when I was in Chicago, but I believe it could’ve been April 17 2007. That was one happy day for me.

Anyway, just wanted to show that I’m not all black clouds.

I asked to see to it that the depressing post from before was not on top.

I met Alex today, she ate sushi and then we went to my place, she hasn’t been here before. The place still looks like shit, almost 1½ years after we’ve moved in. Whatever.



It’s kinda funny how Alex is all happyface while the cat looks so annoyed.

Now the depressing post isn’t on top anymore. Happy?
Ciao